Not so long ago, I celebrated the joys of journaling and the "superpowers" it can provide. But much like my previous attempts at blogging, I have to admit that things have gone downhill. I still journal, but it has become purely functional - a rare record of rather significant moments rather than a consistent practice.
For the last year or two, I haven't been able to shake one specific thought: can I journal in public? After all, that’s essentially what blogging is. Of course, there are limits to what I can share. Some things are simply too personal. But the idea stays. The reasoning is simple. My journaling habits have failed twice over the last decade for the same reason. I kept slipping into the same repetitive patterns over and over again.
How do I test the waters? The answer is simple. Just write more and hit publish. But that’s exactly where the doubts creep in. No matter how hard I try, I struggle to produce those grand posts, the kind I love to read. Being an avid reader doesn't automatically make one a good writer. And, as much as I hate to admit it, my thinking process isn't always crystal clear.
Which makes me think, that perhaps my goal has always been wrong. If my goal is a perfect blog post, I'm never going to write it. Couple weeks ago I have already deleted some blog posts I considered too naive. And if I would apply the same filter, the whole blog can be gone.
That sets the perfect setup for the resolution - what is actually my goal? If I am going to work with what I’ve been given, I might as well accept that my "naive" thinking and messy process are all I have. That isn't a goal. It's a constraint.
If I want to break the cycle of failing habits, I have to stop waiting for grand things to come. Even though I’m not writing this for any particular audience, I have to move forward anyway. To test this, I'm going to commit to publishing twelve posts over the course of next year. One post per month. It's not about being perfect; it's about staying in the game.
That's where my journaling in public starts.